Love-Hate Relationship (Mostly Hate)

I'm sorry readers. This post is not about your everyday kind of relationship with a human being. This is about that SPECIAL bond with your average, everyday suck-the-life-out-of-you Telecommunications company.

I'll cut to the chase. Company X decided to cut my services this morning WITHOUT any form of notice. Okay, the fact that they had been harassing my cell from an anonymous number might have been a hint, but this is just ridiculous.

I know most of us get so engrossed in our busy lives that we barely stop to notice the little things. Sayyy something like an additional cell-phone on your bill for the past 3 years? Sayyy for the past 36 months? Sayyy $30/month for a STUPID device you don't use anymore? Yes, I am that idiot who blindly pays whatever gets sent into her lil electronic bill without second-guessing or even doubting the process behind it.

Anyways, I'll get to the more fun side of this. I have called a NUMBER of times in the past 3 years to take care of this matter. Each time getting directed to a new and improved moron who promises to pass me along to the next one. Thank you Jay-Z for your kicktastic track, but I'll pass for now.



This is the enlightening conversation I have had this afternoon, where I also sacrificed my lunch hour.


"Hi. I need to get rid of an extra phone on my account, for which I'm being charged."
"Oh. That gets taken care of in our Accounts & Cancellations Department. Is it okay if I put you on hold?"
"No. But go ahead"

*transferring*

"Hi. I need to get rid of an extra phone on my account, for which I'm being charged."
"It says here that you have spoken to us in 2007 and again in 2009. Why did you not call back to cancel?"
*amazed at her retardedly contradictory statement* "I assumed it was taken care of the first 2 times I called. Hence, the reason for me calling."

*awkward pause*

"Listen. You guys have been charging me for a phone I clearly do not use. Just credit my account and get rid of it."
"Oh. I'm sorry, I actually do not have the privilege to do so."

*grinding teeth, speaking slowly* "Well.. Can.. I.. Speak.. To.. Some.. One.. Who.. Does?"

"Right. That would be a manager. I can transfer you now. Do you mind if I put you on hold?"

"Mm hm."

*transferring*

*2 minutes*

*5 minutes*

"Okay, ma'am? They are currently not available. Can they call you back in 2-4 business hours?"

"How? You cut my phone"
"Ummm.. Home phone?"
"I won't be there. Don't even try calling my work. I won't be at my desk."
"Ummm.. So, like, can you call us back?"
"And do what? Stay in a loop for 20 minutes and speak to someone new and explain my situation again?"
"Can we leave you a voicemail?"
"You can't access my voicemail."
"You do not have voicemail?!"
"On what? My cell that you cut off this morning?"
"Can we leave a voicemail at your house number?"
"And then call your manager tomorrow? No. You need to take care of this today."
"Can we call your house?"
"I'M NOT THERE RIGHT NOW!"

*awkward pause*

"You know what. Send me to Accounts Receivable."
"They can't---"
"Just transfer me. Tell your whoever to call my cell directly."
"So---"
"So that means I am paying my amount right now and they can call me as long as you guys can restore my services. Does that make sense?"
"So they can call you at 613-xxx-xxxx?"
"NO! THAT'S THE ONE THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN CANCELED!"
"So the other one?"
*grinding teeth, looking for a reason to not shoot self in foot* "Yes."
"Okay. They will call you at this number in 2-4 business hours."
"Uh huh."
"I hope we have answered all your questions. We thank you for choosing Company X. Have a great day."

FML.

I don't even know why I'm censoring the name. Rogers Wireless, shame on you. Highly inefficient process you have.